As goalies, we've all been there... and as parents, you have likely seen it many times - or worse, you are the problem - sorry, it had to be said. I'm speaking about the situation where the coach (or goalie coach or parent helper) instructs the goalie to do something he/she just knows is wrong. This is really hard on a young goalie and is one of the reasons we created our How to Coach Goalies, Coach and Parent Seminars
Out of respect they can't say "you're wrong" but they know that to be the case. Even though they may know that the instruction is improper, they have to do as asked by an adult coach, even knowing it's wrong. This becomes even more of a problem because repeatedly doing it incorrectly will build muscle memory and make correction that much more difficult.
I have worked with many young goalies at our Goaltending Schools and Goalie Training Centre, who have been taught improperly and before I could begin to build new skills and refine their technique, I had to deprogram these bad habits that were created through improper goalie coaching. This can be VERY frustrating for anyone, but it is particularly difficult for a youngster who has worked hard to learn a new skill, possibly knowing that it was wrong. This can result in a severe loss of confidence. At this point some kids shut down and can't learn any more because they are so frustrated with the old coach for teaching them wrong and for the new coach because he's just told them that they wasted their time learning an improper skill and they now have to start over. This is a very bad situation! I have seen kids quit hockey altogether or regress in their development and never recover their form.
So the question becomes; "how do I, as a kid, being taught by people I am supposed to respect, question the instruction and/or the techniques I am being asked to learn and/or work on, when I know they are incorrect". Good question!!
First off you should always be respectful, particularly of anyone older than you. This is a good rule to live your life by. The coach or helper will usually be a volunteer and they are trying their best to help out. If you are dealing with a professional (someone you are paying) you can be more inquisitive and demanding, but a true instructor should be explaining everything and asking for your input as you progress, so this shouldn't be an issue. If you are dealing with a parent or volunteer coach, you have to be very careful not to offend the person. Remember, you want them on your side, for the whole season. Here are some suggestions for dealing with this situation and become a good communicator, BEFORE you have much larger problem.
Please note that every one of these examples can be used in everyday life when dealing with school, work or social issues. Hockey teaches life skills and these are some very relevant situations that you will encounter regularly in the 'real world'.
BE TALKATIVE & COMMUNICATIVE FROM THE START - When you meet your new coach or on ice 'helper', be talkative, ask lots of questions about them, their family, playing career, anything, just make conversation and be friendly. Then when you don't agree or have questions it won't seem like you are suddenly 'attacking'. If you never say "boo" and then all of a sudden start to question the coach on something, it can easily put that person on the defensive.Discussion will seem much more natural if the coach is used to speaking to you. It'll seem like an everyday conversation, just about the topic you want to discuss. You'll also make more friends and be well liked in all other areas of your life, by being an active conversationalist!! It takes work, but it's worth it.
THIRD PARTY REFERRAL - HIS METHOD IS HIGHLY EFFECTIVE - If you have a specific question about something you are being asked to do and it is clearly wrong, refer to someone else when questioning an instruction. By doing this it doesn't seem like you are questioning the person, rather you are confused because you have been shown 2 ways to do something. Even if you weren't specifically shown a different method, you might have seen or read about one, so this shouldn't be considered lying.
As an example: Your new coach says you should always do a paddle down save on long shots (this is definitely wrong). You could reply with: "My old coach told me that he didn't want me to use that save on long shots because it took too long to get my paddle to the ice and it also wasn't necessary when I could make the play standing up and then pass the puck more easily. That made sense to me but I'm always willing to learn, so can you explain why that was wrong or why you want me to do it differently?"
In this example the student wouldn't have offended the coach in any way, the benefits of the correct technique were stated and then the new (incorrect) method was questioned, but the question was asked in a manner than allowed the person showing the save technique incorrectly, to save face by further explaining the technique or even stating that there are a variety of techniques and situations that dictate different save selections - in other words, this then gives the goalie the 'out' to do it the correct way and it gives the coach the 'out' to 'expand' on their original teaching and correct themselves without being too obvious...
GET EXPERT ASSISTANCE - Similar to the 'third party referral' method, this allows the goalie to question instructions, without directly conflicting with the coach. When you decide to use the 'expert assistance' method to get your point across, you'll have to wait until your next ice time after the coach has given you bad direction, but it is important to do it at that NEXT practice, you can't wait.
You'll also have to employ the 'smile & nod' method during the initial practice in which your coach offers the incorrect instruction. After you have been given 'bad coaching advice', you will need to seek an expert to back up and substantiate your position in questioning the instructions. This back-up can be in the form of articles, books, magazines, websites (like ours), hockey school notes or a variety of other areas. It is a good idea to approach the coach and start the conversation with some small talk so as not to appear to be attacking him/her.
WHAT IS THE GUMPER DOING IN THIS PHOTO??
Facing the net and looking way up, in the 'good old days' they weren't too well trained!
You can begin by restating what you understood the technique to be, so as to be sure you understood the coaches directions. If you have understood correctly and it is indeed wrong, then you can move to the next step.Once you are in a comfortable place (meaning; away from distractions), it's then time to bring out your findings and facts to back up your position. You could also begin by stating that the goalie drill or technique you were asked to do at the last practice seemed "a little different from what you thought it should be" so you decided to do some research to help develop a better understanding of the manoeuvre. Most coaches will be impressed that you were working on your own outside the team practice time to improve yourself and your goaltending skills.
We (Puckstoppers) can help you in this situation, just send us an email stating the 'bad' goalie instructions or situation and we'll send you back a reply that will answer your questions and offer direction on the correct method. This can then be given (third party validation) to the coach , who can even be directed too our website and encouraged to contact us or learn from our free information.
OPEN DISCUSSION - There are times when you may have to be very direct and tell a coach that you have been taught differently and trying to change your style is causing you some difficulty.
Explain your concerns in a respectful manner, remembering to be as detailed in your reasoning as possible. You have to be prepared to back up your statements with facts and evidence to support your claims. If you approach the situation in an honest, respectful and matter of fact tone, without any adverse emotions, then you should be able to get through the discussion without difficulty. It's hard for someone to dispute proven facts and evidence.
You MUST keep the discussion about the goalie technique or goaltending drill, absolutely no mention of the coaches knowledge or ability can enter the conversation. As soon as happens you'll have a war on your hands that, as a player, you can't win. Don't put the other person in a position of having to defend themselves, keep the discussion only on the technique. A good coach will respect you for your consideration and maturity, regardless of your age, although the older the goalie, the more likely the coach will listen, but every coach should be available for a discussion with their players if requested in the correct fashion.
SMILE & NOD - OK, you don't ever want to argue or get into a conflict, so if things just aren't working out and your coach won't listen to reason, you can always go with the old standby 'smile and nod' routine. This means you know that what you are being asked to do is incorrect, but you simply 'smile and nod' and do your best to comply with the instructions you are given. Then you immediately forget what you just did and go back to the correct method. The younger the goalie the more difficult this is to accomplish. The biggest problem with doing what you know to be incorrect is that the more you actually do it, the more you will naturally learn it, making it a part of your thought process.
DIRECT OPPOSITION - The older the goalie, the more direct he/she can be in questioning instructions, but ALWAYS be very tactful and respectful when doing so. If you are an older (teenage and up) goalie and have a good relationship with your coach, you may be able to directly question instructions and not get into a confrontational situation. Everyone has an ego and no matter how big or small that ego is, you don't want to offend the other person. It is very important to know the other person and know how far you can push a situation, so be very careful, respectful and calm in doing this. We only recommend this method when a goaltender is on great terms with his coach and knows his reactions, habits and personality very well.
PARENT INTERVENTION - Younger goalies or goalies who aren't comfortable speaking to their coaches can ask their parent to become involved. This is definitely not something we recommend as a first step and not at all when the goalie is in his/her mid to late teens or playing at higher levels.
The older and more competitive the player, the more they are expected to be able to handle situations without their parents becoming involved. Some higher level teams, where the players are in their late teens, want players to be independent and speak for themselves, they don't want to hear from the parents in any situation. So if you are a parent going to speak with the coach of a high level Junior team, you might just be getting your kid traded, benched or removed (yes, it happens) from the team, so be careful.
Parents going to the coach can utilize all the same methods we have covered here, but it is vital that you remain calm, rational and respectful, regardless of the direction the discussion takes. Remember the 24 hour rule (don't speak to the coach for 24 hours if you are upset or irate) and in this situation, it is a good idea to bring your child (goalie) along for the discussion, so you are getting all the facts straight. Kids tend to leave out the details, so don't assume that what you are being told by your child is 100% accurate.
QUICK POINTS TO REMEMBER:
Always be respectful of the other person and never attack their character or personal traits. Keep it about the facts.
Always explain 'why' you want to do something differently. It's hard to argue good facts!
Make sure you ask "why" the coach wants you to do something differently. In the same manner you need to explain your reasoning for not wanting to do something, the coach needs to explain his reasons for wanting you to do it or to change the way you are doing it. There may be a good reason, listen to all advice BEFORE you make any decision.
Always remain calm and speak in an even non confrontational tone
Never go into a conversation with the attitude "I'm right, he's wrong". Hear the other person out first and then offer your insight, facts and observations. If you 'believe' you are correct, but never go into a discussion with a cocky attitude, it's very likely that you'll learn some interesting things and you will definitely be wrong on occasion, but even more importantly, people will like you a whole lot more!
ALWAYS back away when a confrontation is brewing, you can never win in a fight with your coach or one of his/her assistants. It is always best to 'keep the peace' and walk away, even if you are right.
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